Global Warming Causes Hemorrhoids

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Roger Lance

Just recently CNN reported that global warming causes hemorrhoids or was it asteroids? I think
you all can agree with me here that asteroids can be a pain in the ass also. I have noticed over the
past couple winter months that my hemorrhoids have gotten bigger and it has been rather a mild
winter here in the Midwest.

I think it is finally time to get out the pen and paper and draft a proposal to study the
effects global warming has on hemorrhoids. Surely this study could get government funding or maybe a
grant of a few million dollars. If such an effect is taking place the good folks over at could help reduce global warming.

I have now finally realized why Al Gore has always had his head stuck
up his ass.


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